17: Carey - first house, a terrible investment, and doubts about God

This episode is full of confessions: We had no idea how to buy our first house, we made a horrible financial investment, and I started having doubts about God.  One year into our marriage, we weren’t too confident about adulting, but dang it, we were doing it!  We bought a house and we got super involved in our church.  That’s what we were supposed to do, right? 

 Even though our first steps in adulthood were a bit rocky, I can look back now and see the Lord guiding our path.  He led me to a job that not only grew me professionally, but introduced me to Sara.  Sara and her husband, Drew, taught us the value of relationships, taking us a step deeper in our relationship with the Lord.  We made a terrible financial decision, disobeyed the Lord’s promptings and bought a flip house.  It would take years and many thousands of dollars before we were freed from that decision, but God taught us a lot about His Fatherly role, allowing us to walk out our consequences, while never leaving our side.  

 My greatest struggle in this season was whether God was even real.  I’d read about this “abundant life” in the Bible, but I wasn’t seeing it.  We were pouring ourselves into leading high schoolers and working fall festivals, but was this really the abundant life the Bible talked about?  The people around me looked just the same…box checkers.  Where was the supernatural peace and joy?  Was this whole Christianity thing some pretense, like Santa Clause, and I was on the butt end of a sick joke?  We were so engrained in this church culture that I didn’t dare voice my doubts, not even to my husband, but they were there…and they were growing.  

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